Spire of spite: Cairo Tower

Today, we went to the Cairo Tower for breakfast. We took the lift to the 25th floor, to the top of the 187-foot tower. The city coughed and spat way down below: the Great Pyramid of Cheops is 50m lower.

Cairo would be the last to call itself an early riser, and Saturday mornings are still the time to catch a quick lie-in for many people (though interestingly, the unfortunate kids who go to government schools have to go to school SIX DAYS A WEEK), so there were just six of us on the platform at 11am. No great loss, it was heavily clouded with a grey cloud we reckon was a mix of fog and pollution cloaking the Nile and making the city shrink. I like this photo because, amazingly, you can see a glimpse of blue sky. Which just goes to show what hangs over Cairo. Breathe deeply, people.

A photographer approached us brandishing a camera cheaper than mine, so we waived him away. But he told us within 20 minutes, it should clear. Twenty minutes later and Cairo was but a concept. The river was barely visible and it wasn’t until we’d struggled through the shaky SkyGarden menu that the cloud lifted and suddenly three little triangles appeared on the horizon, and the Pyramids did a quick nod, before pulling the curtain again.

According to Wiki, the Great Pyramid held the record as world’s highest building until 1311, before being bounced by England’s Lincoln church.

According to my fab Wallpaper guide, the tower was built by the then-president Nasser with money America had 'donated' to him to buy his support in the region. To snub his wanna-be benefactors, he threw the money at a completely meaningless structure and it earned amongst bitter Americans the sobriequet Nasser's Prrrr(is this a family blog?)ick. Hey, I just read this: don't shoot the messenger.

Obviously, the altitude got to us and we went all touristy: we stood on the revolving restaurant, compared similar towers from Kuala Lumpur, Toronto and Sydney, and chatted to a pharaoh on the viewing platform.

In a quick analysis of the hyrogliphcs that make up my name, offered by the slightly embarrassed pharoah, I travel a lot, am mysterious and sarcastic. Two out of three...


WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW: Cairo Tower costs LE70 foriegners/ LE20 Egyptians. There is a LE30 minimum charge in the SkyGarden cafe, which has charming service, but flaccid cappuccinos and stodgy – but ENORMOUS club sandwiches – no, no oriental food here, ma’am. (Confusingly for Australians, Egyptians refer to their food as ‘oriental’. Yet not a beef’n’black bean in sight...)

The revolving restaurant opens at noon, and we reckon it's just the place to pull up a table in the afternoon, fill it with mezze (samousek, kobeba, baba ganoug and if you're so inclined, a few beers or a glass of wine) and watch the sun set over Cairo.

And there's also a cute looking cafe, Villa Zamalek, at the foot of the tower, which serves shisha (untested, sorry). Because you're not going into the tower, you don't have to pay the admission fee.