Flushed with success in Jakarta

So a group of us go into this amazing five-star hotel in Jakarta and we've all got massive suites that are twice the size of my Melbourne apartment. The food is fabulous, the company gorgeous, but the conversation? Well, it comes about as we all check in, then dash upstairs to refresh before dinner and all we can talk about as we assemble in the lobby? The toilet.

Friends, this is not any toilet. This is, to grab that exhausted cliche, state of the art. From the toilet meisters, Japan. I'm so impressed, I'm going to show you the control panel. Take a look at that puppy. Yes, it has rear cleansing (soft and hard), front cleansing, options for pulsating or osicillating water and... a dryer. The seat is pre-heated to a toasty warmth and the lid welcomes you by opening itself. Hours of entertainment, people. And after that, there's the European shower, a cabinet that includes a light overhead, radio and lots of other buttons. I'll report back...