Crazed monkeys and limbless Frenchmen: This is The News

Spread out before me is the latest copy of the Bali Advertiser, a local rag published mostly in English, which I picked up at the front of Biku cafe last week. 

I'd stopped in to Biku for a coffee and tarot reading (both very good). I would have skipped the tarot and read the Local News headlines, if I'd realised it was such gripping stuff, particularly the local news page which featured stories on a killer monkey and a limbless swimmer.

East Bali residents hunt down killer monkey:
Residents of Nongan Village, Karangasem, East Bali, are still searching for a crazed monkey that attacked and killed a man on Monday 14/5...Villagers suspected that the monkey was seeking revenge for a previous gunshot wound when the monkey was shot by hunters. "Any monkey that is not a pet is a suspect," said Police Chief Adjunct Senior Commissioner of Karangasem Jefri Torunde.  
Limbless Frenchman Swims from PNG to Indonesia:
A Frenchman who lost his limbs in an electrical accident has..(swim) from Papua New Guinea to Indonesia in the first stretch of a mission to swim between five continents.
Apparently, it took 7.5 hours to cover the 20-km journey. 

Other stories included the Australian drug smuggler Schapelle Corby's sentence being cut, a plague of tuberculosis in Eastern Indonesia and a tale of a 54-year-old Australian hairdresser being nabbed with a kilogram of hash and 5g of crystal meth IN his body (seriously uncomfortable).

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